It might be a lot like yours (or not at all)

In a Serious, Long-term Relationship?

In How to be a Princess on July 5, 2007 at 9:10 am

well listen up before you ruin it all and it goes from exciting to boring and routine. then you wonder, where did the love go, or worse your eyes start wandering to something “new and exciting”. this can happen before you know it. but the evolution of a relationship is natural…those fun dinner dates turn into the functional need to eat every day. the text messages you once squealed over are just whatever.

the tips following this link on SelfGrowth.com are extremely good! if you really think about it, its so easy to not do these things and fall into that everyday hum-drum (lol…hum-drum). but those of you who are really satisfied with your relationship probably are already doing this!

here are my tips (this is what i have LEARNED from experience, obvi every couple differs):

1. you are a princess, so act like one! don’t start looking like Aunt Jamima or Rosanne every day. stay cute! the “sloppy look” really isn’t that cute, its sloppy. sloppy hair, ratty shorts, stained oversized t-shirts…ick! yes, it’s important to be comfortable, and your man should love you no matter what. but come on, treat yourself to some cute lounge gear at the very least!

2. in the morning…don’t roll over and try to talk to your lover with crusty eyes and lips and stanky morning breath. a quick run to the bathroom when you wake up will get you right if you’re struggling here.

3. stay fresh and smelling good

4. don’t try to make each other jealous. that’s retarded. make your girl or guy feel secure and confident in where they stand with you.

5. if you are a sexual person and you are bored with your sex life now…imagine how it will be years from now. some lovers like the traditional routine sessions, others need much more stimulation and variety…its all about being evenly matched. if you don’t say anything, your partner will never know. and if that person isn’t interested in learning how to please you or just simpley can’t…its a red-flag.

6. if you live together and take showers together, it really is best to do this on a passionate, romantic whim. taking showers together because its a functional time-saver will definitely kill a certain amount of romance.

7. close the door to the bathroom and be a lady. you may think its cool that you’re so comfortable with your man that you can #1 and #2 with your man brushing his teeth, but really…in hindsight…its quite disguisting and something that also will add to the slaying of the romance. close the door, have him wait his turn, pause the movie, or pause the conversation. burping and passing gas in front of him should be on accident and you should say “excuse me”, don’t just let ‘er rip. (if this is a quality about you that your man genuinely loves, than by all means…go ‘head…most would rather not witness these things)

8. if you argue, but never have make-up sex…you are missing out in a very important aspect of passion in a relationship…re-consider.

9. when you go out…get ready, look good…lure him in just like you did when you first started dating. same with guys.

10. lingerie…and cute panties

11. being nekkid all the time is cool. again it’s one of those things where the couple is proud of how “comfortable” they are around each other. but i once got some really good advice from a guy. he said that he liked it because his girl would change in another room, and would have something on at all times…and this created the alluring mystery of what lies beneath that men love so much. it leads being nekkid as hot, undressing and teasing…instead of just always served up and gettin cold on the platter.

12. do romantic stuff! guys–remember all that stuff you did at the start, or that stuff you said you’d do? keep it up! don’t slack! “now that you got it, whatchu gon’ do about it” -Gwen Sefani.

13. spend money, make memories…budget nights out, daytrips, weekend getaways, vacations, and flowers into your finances. it shows your partner that they are a priority in your life as much as new cloths, scotch, vid games, music equipment, or whatever you’re into. you should both equally want to make good memories with each other. don’t leave all the planning up to one person.

14. don’t think that gifts are better than a memorable experience. don’t buy simple, unthoughtful, functional gifts…get something from the heart that shows you listen, observe, care, and spent time on getting it right…if they ask for something that they really want…GET IT FOR THEM, it doesn’t get any easier and it gaurantees making them happy. ignoring valentine’s day, birthdays, and other holidays is totally unacceptable…if you don’t have the funds, make a card with a pen and recyled paper, pick a bouquet of flowers from the block, give her a massage.

15. stay healthy…most people gain weight in relationships because they kinda let go, and you should plan on this. to quote NF “we’re not gonna be hotties forever”. so keep it real, and be with someone for what’s inside, your connection, the way they make you feel, and the glimmer in their eyes when they look at you–not because he’s got a hot surfer body, or she’s the hottest girl in the club. that only goes so far for so long. its important to be healthy, but don’t be surprised if your girl or guy adds pounds and don’t tell her to lose weight when you aren’t living a healthy lifestyle yourself. at the same time–keep yourself fit and toned for YOU…you will be happier, trust me. then you won’t look at your man as “the reason you gained all this weight”.

16. notice how you two solve problems and deal with situations. do you work together? do you come up with good solutions that you both like? or do you just argue and place blame the whole time. there will be many bumps on the love-rollercoaster, so find someone you can work with together and get good results.

17. keep your own identity!!!! i cannot stress this one enuf. its cool to become attached at the hip and infatuated with your lover. but don’t lose yourself in the process. make your own hobbies, do your own thing, have your own schedule. don’t just throw your identity out the window…you will be sorry later. plus its more attractive to a guy to have a girl who can function on her own.

18. there areas you need to keep a firm grip on: conversation, communication, and intellectual stimulation…romance and passion…after too long of slacking in these areas, you will lose the attention of your partner.

19. here are the elements of a relationship that i’ve decided are needed to make a it work: a) the desire to understand your partner, b) the desire to make your partner happy, c) the desire to show respect toward your partner….d) the ability to understand your partner, e) the ability to make your partner happy, f) the ability to show respect toward your partner….get it?

good luck! relationships aren’t easy, they require effort and learning…but they shouldn’t be TOO much work! in the words of John Meyer and his car/relationship analogy: “taking it into the shop once in a while for routine maintenance is acceptable and expected…but if you’re constantly having to tinker with it and the problems don’t get solved, time to look for a new ride.”

(c) The Urban Princess

  1. you know I had so much to say to this I didn’t say anything. I needed to read some of these as reminders, and it’s never a bad thing to be reminded. that’s why I still read a lot of relationship articles. I love my marriage and am lucky to be with my best friend and the one who understands me best but obviously there is always the possibility of stagnation when you don’t pay attention (i.e., I identified with the “too comfortable stuff” dammit LOL). but there’s always time for improvement. 🙂

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