It might be a lot like yours (or not at all)

Your responsibility to your partner…

In beauty and the biz, How to be a Princess on March 25, 2008 at 6:49 pm

I came across these points in my “Seeds of Success” newsletter from which was once my favorite magazine and apparently is no longer, but seems to have come back in some “old white man” form. Still–the content is inspiring and helpful. My original cheering on of Success Magazine can be found HERE.

Here is the part that grabbed me most:

3 Keys to Lasting Love

  1. Honor — respecting your spouse for all of his or her individual qualities as well as differences from you.
  2. Communication — speaking to one another in a way that moves conversations and conflict into deeper realms of understanding.
  3. Constant Renewal — recharging your spouse emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually.

The part that stood out to me and I’ve never really thought about was #3 “constant renewal”. It’s saying that we have a responsibility to our significant other to recharge them in various ways. I think this is important because it does require thought, reflection, effort, and innovative thinking. Naturally, some people are better at this that others.

But still, it really jumped out to me that this is central. Think of what happens when part of a relationship stops caring about stimulating and inspiring the other. Things become dull, boring, repetitive, uninspired…and I think most importantly, the person not being satisfied in that way can really FEEL that their significant other just doesn’t care and isn’t putting effort into rejuvenating them. And it sucks.

It’s an interesting perspective to think in…I recommend trying it.

  1. “Communication — speaking to one another in a way that moves conversations and conflict into deeper realms of understanding.”

    I love that deeper realms of understanding part.

    as for the constant renewal…

    “Constant Renewal — recharging your spouse emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually”

    yes, definitely. but I think that communication goes hand in hand there because some of what recharges is the talks that you have, the thoughts you share, the parts of yourselves you choose to expose to one another.

    I recently realized the definition of love that says something like… “love is when you care more about the other’s happiness than you do your own.” we talked about that, out of the blue, and steve said it can take years to get there, but what a beautiful feeling. and how.

    I’m glad you think about these things. 🙂 you’re very lucky.

  2. I agree, Melissa. I think communication isn’t just about how to get out of an argument or how to talk about money without pissing each other off.

    It’s also that day-to-day discussion of our lives, our world, how we feel about the other person. Who we are. What we like. How we are changing. All of that.

    And I do think that without that simple and daily effort (or natural) type of discussion…partners are easily not recharged. It’s easy to see how if you don’t have that, it’s VERY easy to disconnect, grow apart, or fall out of love.

    Good stuff!

  3. very well said, better than I. I imagine you talk to your man a lot. feels good.

  4. i try! hahaha. i’m WAYYYYYYY more talkative than he is, but he’s good once he gets going. and he’s a great listener and it makes me happy hehe.

    steve seems just as talkative as you, right?

  5. no, I talk more than he does for sure. overall. but when we get going on really deep shit, we both get fairly animated.

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